Glossary
Gold Star Gay
Gold star gay is a slang term for a gay man who has never had sex with a woman.
Gold star gay is LGBTQ slang for a gay man who has never had sexual contact with a woman. It mirrors the older phrase gold star lesbian, whose earliest known written use appears in the 1995 book Revolutionary Laughter, quoting comedian Carol Steinel. The gold star framing imagines a badge of achievement for sexual exclusivity, and many people use it with a wink, poking fun at the idea itself. Others have criticized the concept for implying that any sexual history with the opposite sex makes someone less authentically gay. That critique treats attraction and identity, not a partner tally, as what actually defines being gay.
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