Grey Hanky

In the handkerchief code, the color-coded flagging system popular among gay men from the 1970s onward, grey signals an interest in bondage. Following the code's general convention, the hanky worn on the left points to the more active role, the person who ties or restrains, while worn on the right it points to the person who wants to be tied or restrained. The code let men signal specific interests silently at a time when discretion mattered. Like all hanky meanings, grey was never universally fixed. Interpretations varied by city, club, and era, so the signal was always read together with context and community familiarity rather than treated as an exact code.