Sex, Kink & Fetish

Abstain / Abstinence

Abstinence is the practice of refraining from some or all sexual activity, for reasons that may be personal, religious, medical, or health-related.

Age Play

Age play is a consensual form of adult role-play, often within BDSM, where a participant takes on a persona of a different age.

Amyl Nitrate

Amyl nitrite, commonly sold as "poppers," is an inhaled chemical that briefly widens blood vessels and produces a short rush of warmth and relaxation.

Anal Sex

Anal sex is sexual activity involving the anus, most often penetration, practiced by people of all genders and orientations.

Anything Goes

"Anything goes" is an informal phrase signaling an open, flexible attitude toward sexual activities or partners, always grounded in consent.

Bandana Code

The bandana code, also called the hanky code or flagging, is a system where the color and pocket placement of a bandana or handkerchief signals a person's sexual interests and role.

Bareback

Bareback refers to anal or vaginal sex without a condom or other barrier method.

Bathwater

Bathwater is a niche fetish in which a person's used bathwater becomes an object of erotic interest or intimacy.

Bator

A bator is a person, usually a man, for whom masturbation is a central and often shared form of sexual expression.

Bb

BB is app and profile shorthand for "bareback," meaning sex without a condom.

BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella term for consensual erotic practices involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism.

Black Hanky

The black hanky is part of the hanky code, a system used in leather and BDSM communities to non-verbally signal an interest in heavy S&M play.

Blue DVD

Blue DVD is informal shorthand for adult gay pornographic films sold on DVD, drawing on the old use of "blue" to mean sexually explicit or obscene.

Blue Store

Blue Store is slang for an adult retail shop selling pornography, sex toys, and related material, long a discreet gathering point in gay communities.

Bondage

Bondage is the consensual practice of physically restraining a partner with rope, cuffs, straps, or tape for erotic, aesthetic, or sensory purposes.

Bottom

Bottom refers to the person who takes the receptive role during penetrative sex, most commonly used among gay and queer men.

Bottom Bunk

Bottom bunk is a playful slang metaphor for being a bottom, the receptive partner in sex.

Brown Hanky

In the gay handkerchief code, a brown handkerchief signals an interest in scat play.

Bukkake

Bukkake is a pornographic genre and sex act, originating in Japan, in which multiple people ejaculate onto one person.

Bussy

Bussy is gay slang for the anus, formed by blending the words "boy" and "pussy."

Buttgasm

A buttgasm is an intense orgasm reached through anal stimulation.

Candle Play

Candle play is a form of BDSM sensation play in which warm wax is dripped from a candle onto a partner's skin.

Car Play

Car play refers to sexual or intimate activity that takes place inside a vehicle.

Cat O’ Nine Tails

A cat o' nine tails is a multi-tailed whip that originated as a punishment tool and is now used consensually as an impact-play implement in BDSM.

Catcher

Catcher is informal gay slang for the receptive partner in anal sex, roughly equivalent to bottom.

CBT

In BDSM, CBT (cock and ball torture) is consensual erotic play involving pain or pressure applied to the penis and testicles.

Chastity

In BDSM, chastity is a consensual practice of handing control over one's sexual release to a partner, often enforced with a locking device.

Chastity Cage

A chastity cage is a locking device worn over the penis in BDSM that prevents erection and self-pleasure, with a partner holding the key.

Chemsex

Chemsex is the intentional use of certain drugs to enhance or prolong sex, most commonly among gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men.

Choke

Choke, or breath play, is a high-risk BDSM practice involving consensual restriction of a partner's breathing for arousal.

Clit

Clit is everyday shorthand for the clitoris, a sensitive organ whose primary role is sexual pleasure.

CliTerference

Cliterference is informal, jokey slang for the sapphic equivalent of "cock-blocking": getting in the way of two women or wlw people connecting.

Cockring / Cock Ring / C-Ring

A cock ring is a sex toy worn around the base of the penis or testicles to help maintain a firmer, longer-lasting erection.

Cocksucker

Cocksucker is a crude term for a person who performs oral sex on a penis, long used as a homophobic slur but sometimes reclaimed within queer spaces.

Consensual

Consensual describes any activity that all participants have freely, knowingly, and willingly agreed to.

Contract

In BDSM, a contract is a negotiated agreement, written or spoken, that spells out the terms of a consensual power exchange between partners.

Corporal Punishment

In BDSM, corporal punishment refers to consensual physical discipline such as spanking, paddling, or flogging, negotiated with agreed limits.

Cottaging

Cottaging is British gay slang for men seeking or having anonymous sex in public toilets.

Creampie

Creampie is a sexual slang term for ejaculating inside a partner's vagina or anus without a condom, leaving semen inside.

Cruising

Cruising is the practice of looking for casual, often anonymous sexual partners in public or semi-public spaces, a long-standing part of gay and bisexual male culture.

Cuck

Cuck, short for cuckold, describes someone who is aroused by watching their partner have sex with another person, though the word is also used as an insult.

Cum

Cum is casual slang for semen or seminal fluid released during orgasm, and can also mean the act of reaching orgasm.

Cum Shot

Cum shot is a pornography term for visible ejaculation captured on camera, also known as the money shot.

Cut

"Cut" is a common informal descriptor for a person who has been circumcised, meaning the foreskin covering the head of the penis has been surgically removed.

Dark Blue Hanky

In the gay hanky code, a dark blue handkerchief signals interest in anal sex, with the pocket it is worn in indicating the preferred role.

Dildo

A dildo is a sex toy shaped for penetration, made in a wide range of sizes, shapes, and materials.

Dom / Dominant

In BDSM and kink, a Dominant (Dom or Domme) is the partner who takes a role of control or authority within a negotiated, consensual power exchange.

DTF

DTF is casual slang, short for "down to fuck," signaling that someone is open to and interested in a sexual encounter.

E-Stimulation / Electrical Play

E-stim is a form of BDSM sensation play that uses low-level electrical current to create tingling, pulsing, or muscle-contraction sensations.

Edging

Edging is a sexual technique of repeatedly approaching the brink of orgasm and then pausing to delay climax, which can prolong arousal and intensify the eventual orgasm.

Escort

An escort is a person paid for companionship, a form of sex work practiced within and beyond LGBTQ+ communities.

Exhibitionist

An exhibitionist is someone who feels sexual excitement from being seen or watched, an interest that is healthy when everyone involved consents.

Feet

Feet refers to foot fetishism, a common sexual or erotic interest in feet that appears across all sexual orientations and communities.

Fetish

A fetish is an intense pattern of sexual arousal tied to a specific object, body part, material, or situation.

Fisting (FF)

Fisting, sometimes abbreviated FF for fist fucking, is the sexual practice of inserting a hand, and sometimes part of the forearm, into a partner's anus or vagina.

Flagging

Flagging is the practice of wearing colored handkerchiefs or bandanas in a coded way, known as the hanky code, to non-verbally signal sexual interests and preferred roles.

Flexible

Flexible describes someone whose sexual roles or attractions are not fixed; it signals openness to more than one position, dynamic, or partner type.

Flipping

Flipping means switching sexual roles, most often between topping and bottoming, within a single encounter or relationship.

Flogging

Flogging is a BDSM impact practice in which a partner is struck with a flogger, a multi-tailed whip, as part of consensual sensation play.

Foreskin (Kink)

Foreskin fetishism is sexual interest in or arousal centered on the foreskin, the retractable skin covering the head of an uncircumcised penis.

Frottage

Frottage is non-penetrative sex in which partners rub their bodies, usually the genitals, against each other for pleasure.

Furries

Furries are members of the furry fandom, a community built around anthropomorphic animal characters, often expressed through personal "fursonas" and costumes called fursuits.

Gag (Kink)

A gag is a device placed in or over the mouth to restrict speech, used in BDSM and power-exchange play.

Game Of Flats

Game of flats is a historical English slang term for sex between women, in use from around the 18th century.

Gang Bang

Gang bang refers to a group-sex encounter in which one person has sex with several partners, either at once or in sequence.

Gear

Gear is the specialized clothing, equipment, and accessories worn in kink and leather communities to signal identity and interests.

Glory Hole

A glory hole is a hole in a wall or partition through which a person can engage in anonymous sexual contact with someone on the other side.

Gooning

Gooning is slang for a deep, trance-like state of prolonged arousal reached during extended masturbation.

Green Hanky

In the gay handkerchief code, a green hanky signals interest in hustling or paid sex, with left worn by the hustler and right by the client.

Grey Hanky

In the gay handkerchief code, a grey hanky signals an interest in bondage, with the side worn indicating whether a person prefers to bind or be bound.

Group

Group sex refers to sexual activity involving three or more people at the same time.

H&H

H&H is a piece of gay dating and hookup-app shorthand that most often stands for "high and horny," signaling that someone is using drugs and looking for sex.

Hands

In kink and BDSM, "hands" refers to using the hands directly as tools of touch, sensation, and control rather than implements like paddles or floggers.

Hanky Code

The hanky code is a system of colored handkerchiefs worn in a back pocket to signal sexual interests and one's preferred role, long used in gay male, leather, and kink communities.

Hard Limits

In BDSM, hard limits are the activities a person absolutely refuses to do, non-negotiable boundaries that partners must respect at all times.

Harness

A harness is a wearable piece of gear, usually leather or rubber, that straps around the chest and body and is worn in leather and kink culture as well as for fashion.

Homoerotic

Homoerotic describes art, writing, imagery, or behavior that carries or suggests same-sex desire, whether or not anyone involved identifies as gay.

Host

Host describes someone willing to have a date or sexual encounter at their own home, rather than traveling to someone else's place or meeting elsewhere.

Hustler / Prostitution

A hustler is a man who does sex work, providing sexual services in exchange for money or other compensation.

Interrogation

In BDSM, interrogation is a consensual role-play scene where one partner takes on an authority or questioner role and psychologically pressures the other within pre-agreed limits.

JO / Jack-Off

JO stands for jack-off, meaning masturbation, and by extension the jack-off clubs and JO parties where men gather to masturbate together.

Jock-Strap

A jockstrap is an athletic undergarment that supports the genitals, which since the 1950s has also become an iconic gay fashion and fetish item.

Kai-kai

Kai-kai is older gay and ballroom slang for sex between two drag queens, especially while both are in drag.

Kink

Kink is an umbrella term for non-conventional sexual interests and practices, including BDSM, fetishes, role-play, and power exchange.

Kink-Shame

Kink-shaming is mocking, judging, or disparaging someone for their consensual sexual interests or kinks.

Kissing

Kissing is a common expression of affection that, for LGBTQ+ people in public, can also become an act of visibility and protest.

Latex

Latex is a stretchy rubber material worn in queer fetish and kink fashion, prized for its tight fit, shine, and sensory feel.

Leather (Kink)

Both a material and a cultural signifier with deep roots in gay male subculture, tied to masculine aesthetics, eroticism, and BDSM.

Leather Community

A subculture united by a shared interest in leather as an aesthetic, erotic, and identity-forming material, and by the kink and BDSM practices often connected to it.

Leather Daddy

An older, typically experienced and often dominant man in the leather community who may take on a mentor, protector, or authority role.

Light Blue Hanky

In the gay handkerchief code, a light blue bandana traditionally signals interest in oral sex, with the pocket it is worn in indicating whether the wearer prefers to give or receive.

Limits

In BDSM and kink, limits are the boundaries a person sets around activities they will not do or are not ready to try, ranging from absolute "hard limits" to conditional "soft limits."

Lingerie

Intimate apparel that, for many queer people, doubles as a tool for gender affirmation and self-expression.

Load

Slang for semen, used widely in gay male sexual and kink culture.

Lust

Intense sexual desire, a dimension of erotic life that queer cultures have often affirmed as human rather than shameful.

Masochist

A masochist is someone who finds pleasure, often erotic, in receiving pain, restraint, or submission within consensual, negotiated limits.

Muff Diver

Muff diver is casual slang for a person who performs oral sex on a vulva.

Mummification

Mummification is a form of BDSM bondage in which a consenting person is wrapped tightly, often head to toe, in materials such as plastic wrap, bandages, or tape to fully restrict movement.

Negotiation

In BDSM and kink, negotiation is the conversation partners have before a scene to agree on desires, limits, safety, and consent.

Nipple Torture

Nipple torture is a consensual BDSM sensation-play practice that applies intense stimulation to the nipples for erotic pleasure.

Nipples

Nipples are erogenous zones present on bodies of all genders that carry erotic, cultural, and gender-affirming significance in LGBTQ+ communities.

Nylon

Nylon is a synthetic fabric that carries erotic associations in some kink and fetish communities, especially among people drawn to stockings, tights, and other hosiery.

Oral

Shorthand for oral sex, sexual activity using the mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate a partner's genitals or anus.

Oral Sex

Sexual activity in which a person uses their mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate a partner's genitals or anus.

Orange Hanky

In the gay handkerchief code, an orange bandana traditionally signals openness to almost anything, anytime.

Orgasm

An orgasm is the peak of sexual arousal, marked by intense pleasure, rhythmic muscular contractions, and a release of built-up tension.

Party Bottom

Gay male slang for someone who takes the receptive role in anal sex while using recreational drugs, often in a chemsex setting.

Pegging

Pegging is a sexual act in which a person penetrates a partner's anus using a strap-on dildo.

Piercings

Piercings are body modifications made by inserting jewelry into pierced tissue, with a long and layered history in LGBTQ+ and kink subcultures.

Pig / Piggy

In gay male sexual culture, 'pig' or 'piggy' is a self-chosen label for someone with an enthusiastic, uninhibited, and often taboo-embracing approach to sex.

Pillow Biter

'Pillow biter' is a crude, derogatory slang term for a gay man in the receptive role during anal sex.

Pillow Princess

Slang for a person, most often a lesbian or queer woman, who prefers to receive sexual pleasure rather than give it.

Pillow Queen

A variant of 'pillow princess' describing someone who prefers to receive sexual attention rather than actively reciprocate.

Piss Play

Piss play is consensual erotic activity that incorporates urine or urination, also known as watersports, golden showers, or clinically as urolagnia.

Pissing

In kink and sexual health contexts, pissing refers to urination used as part of erotic play, closely related to the terms piss play and watersports.

Pitcher

Pitcher is baseball-derived slang for the insertive or penetrating partner during anal sex, the counterpart to the receptive catcher.

Pits

Pits is slang for armpits, which hold erotic significance for some people through armpit fetishism, clinically called maschalagnia.

Play Sheets

Written checklists or questionnaires used in BDSM and kink to negotiate interests, limits, and health details before a scene.

PnP

Short for "party and play," the practice of combining recreational drugs with sex, also known as chemsex.

Power Bottom

A power bottom is a receptive partner in gay sex who takes an assertive, enthusiastic, and often dominant role in directing the encounter.

Public

In sexual contexts, "public" refers to sexual activity in non-private or semi-public spaces such as cruising grounds, parks, or restrooms.

Pup / Puppy

In pup play, a pup or puppy is someone who takes on the persona, headspace, and playful energy of a dog, either as kink roleplay or as a personal identity.

Puppy Play

A form of BDSM roleplay in which one or more participants take on the behavior, gear, and persona of a dog, often centered on trust and playfulness rather than sex.

Purple Hanky

In the gay hanky code, a purple handkerchief traditionally signals an interest in piercing play.

Pussy

A colloquial term for the vulva or vagina that carries complex, often reclaimed meaning in queer, feminist, and transgender communities.

Quickie

A quickie is slang for a brief, spontaneous sexual encounter that is fast rather than drawn out.

Raw

Raw is slang for condomless sex, most often penetrative anal or vaginal sex without a condom.

Red Hanky

In the gay hanky code, a red handkerchief signals interest in fisting, with the pocket worn showing whether the person prefers the giving or receiving role.

Roleplay

Roleplay is a consensual erotic practice in which partners take on characters or scenarios to act out a shared sexual fantasy.

Rough

Rough is a casual term for sexual activity that is deliberately intense or physically forceful, practiced with consent and clear communication.

Rough Trade

Rough trade is an older gay slang term for a masculine, often working-class or straight-identified man who has sex with gay men and is seen as tough or potentially dangerous.

Rubber

Rubber, also called latex fetishism, is a sexual attraction to wearing, seeing, or touching rubber and latex garments, with an active subculture in gay and kink communities.

Rush

Rush is a well-known brand name for poppers, inhaled alkyl nitrites used recreationally for a brief head rush and muscle relaxation.

S&M

S&M stands for sadism and masochism, the consensual giving and receiving of pain or domination for erotic pleasure within BDSM.

Sadist

In consensual kink, a sadist is a person who takes erotic pleasure in giving pain, sensation, or control to a willing partner who wants to receive it.

Safe Word

A safe word is a pre-agreed word or signal that lets a participant immediately pause or stop consensual sexual or kink activity.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual

Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) is a BDSM ethical guideline holding that kink should minimize risk, involve sound judgment, and rest on the free agreement of everyone involved.

Santorum

Santorum (lowercase) is a satirical sexual slang term coined in 2003 by columnist Dan Savage as a protest against anti-gay remarks by then-Senator Rick Santorum.

Scat

Scat, clinically called coprophilia, is a sexual interest involving feces, considered an edge kink practiced by a small minority within BDSM communities.

Scene (Kink)

In BDSM and kink, a scene is a structured, negotiated period of erotic play between consenting people, with a clear beginning, end, and agreed roles.

Scissoring

Scissoring is a sexual act, often between women, in which two partners interlock their legs and rub their genitals together for shared stimulation.

Service

In BDSM and power-exchange relationships, service is acts a submissive partner performs for a dominant as an expression of devotion.

Service Top

A service top is someone who takes the active or topping role mainly to fulfill their partner's desires rather than to direct the scene.

Session

A session is a planned, negotiated BDSM or kink encounter, often between a professional dominant and a client, with activities agreed on in advance.

Sex (Action)

Sex, as an act, means physical activity involving erotic stimulation of the genitals or other erogenous zones, and it takes many valid forms.

Sex Shop

A sex shop is a retail store that sells products related to sexuality and sexual pleasure, from toys and lubricants to safer sex supplies.

Sex Work / Sex Worker

Sex work is the exchange of sexual services, performances, or products for money, and a sex worker is a person who does that work.

Showoff

Showoff is an informal term for someone who enjoys displaying their body, confidence, or sexuality to an appreciative audience, often in exhibitionistic or kink contexts.

Shrimping

Shrimping is a slang term for the erotic sucking or licking of a partner's toes, a form of foot fetishism.

Side

A side is a gay or bisexual man who enjoys sex but does not engage in anal penetration as either a top or a bottom.

Sir

Sir is an honorific used in BDSM, leather, and kink communities to address or name someone holding a dominant, authority role, and it can be claimed by people of any gender.

Size Queen

Size queen is playful slang, most common in gay male culture, for someone who strongly prefers sexual partners with large genitals.

Slave / Master

Slave and Master are titles for the two roles in a consensual total power exchange relationship, where one partner surrenders authority to the other.

Sling

A sling is a suspended harness or seat used to support one partner during sex, common in leather, kink, and gay sex-club settings.

Socks

Socks refers to a fetish or aesthetic interest in men's socks found within some segments of gay and queer male sexual subcultures.

Soft Limits

Soft limits are activities in BDSM that a person is hesitant about but might be willing to try under the right conditions, with trust and careful negotiation.

Spanking

Spanking is a common consensual erotic and BDSM activity that involves striking a partner's buttocks with a hand or implement within an agreed-upon dynamic.

Spit

Spit, in a sexual context, refers to consensually spitting on or exchanging saliva with a partner, often as a form of power play or degradation within a kink scene.

Sub / Submissive

A sub, short for submissive, is the person in a consensual BDSM dynamic who agrees to yield control to a dominant partner.

Switch

A switch is a person who enjoys taking both dominant and submissive, or top and bottom, roles rather than staying fixed in one.

Tentacles

Tentacles refers to a genre of erotic art and fantasy in which tentacled creatures engage sexually with human figures, rooted in Japanese art and popularized through hentai.

Top

Top is a term for the person who takes the active or penetrating role during sex, most often used in gay male communities.

Top Bunk

Top bunk is a playful slang euphemism for the top, or penetrating, sexual role.

Toys

Toys, or sex toys, are objects used to enhance sexual pleasure, widely used across LGBTQ+ communities and bodies.

Train

Train, or "running a train," is slang for a group sexual activity in which multiple partners take turns having sex with one person one after another.

Tribbing

Tribbing, also called tribadism or scissoring, is a sexual act in which a person rubs their vulva against a partner's vulva or body for stimulation.

Underwear

In a kink context, underwear refers to an erotic interest in undergarments, whether as objects, sensory experiences, or worn items.

Urolagnia

Urolagnia, often called watersports, is a sexual interest involving urine, practiced consensually among some adults across orientations.

Vanilla

Vanilla describes sexual or romantic activity considered conventional, without BDSM, kink, or fetish elements.

Vers / Versatile

Vers, short for versatile, describes someone comfortable taking both the insertive (top) and receptive (bottom) role during sex.

Voyeur

A voyeur is someone who is sexually aroused by watching others who are nude or engaged in sexual activity.

Watching

Watching refers to the consensual act of observing others engage in sexual activity, common in voyeur and exhibitionist dynamics and at play parties.

Watersports

Watersports is a slang term for consensual sexual play involving urine, also known clinically as urolagnia or urophilia.

Whip

A whip is an implement used for consensual impact play in BDSM, striking the skin to produce sensation that ranges from light stinging to intense pain.

Yellow Hanky

A yellow handkerchief in the hanky code signals an interest in watersports (urine play), with the pocket it is worn in indicating a top or bottom preference.